White House Hit Wonder Sean Spicer Quits

Sean Spicer – better know by his stage name “Spicey”- will be forever missed. He entertained us in unimaginable ways. He inspired headlines, reinvigorated morning talk shows, and scripted Saturday Night Live’s Neilson ratings.

Breaking news of Sean Spicer’s resignation as White House press secretary six months into the world’s second most coveted job.

Sean Spicer – better know by his stage name “Spicey”- will be forever missed. He entertained us in unimaginable ways. He inspired headlines, reinvigorated morning talk shows, and scripted Saturday Night Live’s Neilson ratings.

Spicey has been Washington D.C.’s gossip sweetheart. Happy Hour in the nation’s capital gained a new meaning. However scrupulous the job, political minions and secretaries and dignitaries gather over $14 cocktails and drinks to shoot the shit and talk Spicey. The 5 to 7 pm slot is no longer an escape from Bosses, but a rendez-vous over Spicey’s latest creative spin on Big Brother’s alternative facts. Like Hollywood inducts celebrities into Stars on L.A. streets, Washington should memorialize Spicer by renaming Happy Hour into Spicey Times.

Sean’s rise to fame is commensurate with the ego of his boss, Donald Trump. No poll predicted the rise of The Donald and by proxy the infamy of his defensive linebacker, Spicer. The Press Secretary made it his daily habit to stretch the truth to its limits. Words would sweat in fear of being redefined before a drop of absurdity trickled down Spicer’s forehead. If language could speak, it’d have much to say about its daily walk of shame at the behest of a spicy tongue.

There is much to say, and surely Breitbart, CNN, FoxNews, and MSNBC will spend the next 48 hours of prime time cable  hours scandalizing Spicer’s swim or sink exit. So we won’t brood over the intricacies and reverbrations of Spicer’s decision to divorce Trump. We know this to be a moment of truth. Maybe Spicer’s departure  hints at an imminent crisis, or simply a relationship gone bad.

Political analysts WILL do a better job than us spinning the story into an Arabian tale full of mystique. And in such vein, all we can say is …

… So long Spicey, for the podium without you is but facts absent the fun!

 

 

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